I'm fully writing this thing while drinking a 40 of Olde English. Sorry, Em.
I was trying to think of what to talk about on this one, and it dawned on me...."God". Yup, good ol' fashioned religion. This is something that is frowned upon on my profession, my family life, and all around friendships. Mind you, I have a few friends that have the same viewpoints that I do, but a bunch that I don't.
After years of somewhat being a "God Fearing" human, I realized that it was a bunch of horseshit. I think it began with the death of my grandmother. She was a smoking, dinking, foulmouthed....well, me. This woman treated me like gold, and not just because I was a spoiled brat, but because she loved me dearly.
My family lived a block away from her in a neighborhood in Meridian. She had a house that had everything necessary. 3 bedrooms with the proper set up: a spare bedroom, her bedroom with bed and whatnot, and a room with a treadmill, Intellivision (I'm really showing my age), and candy jar (complete with those circus peanuts that get stale after a week. Kinda like that "Family Guy", where Stewie finds the key to the 1981 Scirocco.).
I really was the only grandchild that saw her everyday. She was my best friend. She taught me how to cuss, how Velveeta grilled cheese sandwiches were gross, and and how cool it was to just get in the car, and go anywhere you please. As a matter of fact, I used to frequent her house so often, that she would hide when I showed up.
In the spring of 1988, Mom informed me that Grandma had Cancer. When you are 8 or 9 years old, Cancer means one thing, and I don't have the gusto to talk about that. Forrest Gump style.
Grandma met Sgt Nasty for a year, albeit a trip to Mt. St. Helens, at the house, whatever. She was a lady at heart, calling my mother "Mrs. S." while helping with dishes.
I'll never forget being in the 5th grade, laying in bed, when my mother broke the news that my grandma had passed. It drove me to tears. Who in the hell would take this woman away from me? Apparently, this so-called "God" is such a gentleman, that he found it necessary to take this woman away from me. She understood me from the time I was 3....on.
The night that she went to the hospital, my family hung around her house, watching reel to reel movies of her, and my grandfather on the beach. I don't know if she finally found her ending, but that was what sent her over the edge. She cried, with her bald, saddened head over the edge of the couch. "You alright, Mom?", my dad asked. Off to the hospital they went.
I remember everyone crying. Me helping her "brush her teeth", with, what seemed to be a stick with a pink sponge at the end. As cliche as it sounds, after helping her with the teeth brushing, I told her I loved her, and she, in a whisper, replied the same.
I guess she wound up seeing three visions of dudes in white robes, and asked who the hell they were. Dad didn't see them, and said, "What are you talking about, Mom?" to no reply.
Still to this day, I blame YOUR "God" for taking her away. I watch the wars going on. I watch the turmoil of the Middle East. I watch children dying in foreign countries, and I ask you, "this is your God?", and I get the "God is a gentleman" response. If I had this "God", he wouldn't do anything of the sort.
Over the last year I have watched my family get into a horrific car accident the death of a dog, the death of my beloved aunt, and the death of the father figure of my father, whom had cancer, although never smoking. It doesn't make any sense.
I have always said to never bag on my faith, as I would never bag on yours, but I have had friends, family, etc. die, be afflicted by bullshit, diseased, etc.
To quote a famous '80s movie, "Where's my (fucking) two dollars?".
On a funny note, the greatest thing that happened when my grandma was in the hospital, was a young nurse came into her room, and in a childrens' television voice said the the following:
"Mrs. Sampson. did you swallow your pills?" (Like a good girl, obviously)
"No, I thought they were a suppository, and shoved them up my ass."
If there is said "God", I really fucking hope he has cocktails for me and that woman.
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